Someone once told me that the way you act before 10am determines how the rest of your day will go. If you get up early and crack on with your tasks your day is likely to be productive, happy and energetic; conversely, if you struggle to get up and lie in bed till mid-morning then you are pretty much writing the day off as a non-starter. Lately, it has been the latter deciding the course of my life.
There are, of course, days when it can take one four hours to get out of bed and change the sheets. There are days when you can sit staring at a book with the greatest intention of reading it only to find yourself putting it back on the shelf and switching on the TV instead. And finally, there are days when you just want to hide away in a darkened room so you don’t have to face the reality that your life is going nowhere. Increasingly, though, these sorts of days are the only days.
In the last weeks of university I listened frequently to the song ‘Dog Days Are Over’ by Florence + the Machine. It seemed fitting because as I left that heady and enlightening part of my life behind and entered into the world of employment, I assumed it would no longer be appropriate to sit around all day listening to a John Grant album or watching Loose Women. However, since employment has yet to come to me the dog days are very much still here – albeit, as a worn out and tired old mongrel with no will to go on. After several weeks of job hunting (and rejections) the truth is I am stuck in a stupor. Time flies on and all the while I have less and less desire to take control of my own fate. Instead, I am increasingly content to sit back and wait for something to come to me, which inevitably it never will. I feel lethargic as if I have lived my life four times over and I can see no way out of this pit I am caught in.
You see, it becomes all too easy to lose all sense of feeling and consciousness when one embarks on those first misguided steps into adulthood. I have fallen into the trap but, reader, do not fear for I have realised just in time and am determined to haul myself out of it. Some of you may be feeling the same and that is why I have compiled a list of things to do and to avoid in the hope my mistakes may become your lessons.
So, here we go:
1. Do not lose heart. It may sound cliched, or even obvious, but do not give up on what your want. Even if you don’t know what you want do not give up on the search. Yes, rejection letters will come (if you get any reply at all) but take them on the chin and plough on. Remain confident – you are a fantastic person, I’m sure – and use your disappointment to make you more determined for the next application.
2. Avoid Facebook. Facebook is great for staying in touch with geographically dispersed friends and for organising events, but when you’re sat at home with nothing to do it can be another weight dragging you down. I’m sure your friends are having a lovely time in Provence, or building a school in Kenya, but seeing everyone else exploring the world and getting on with their lives can only serve to reinforce your own lack of action. In this case, ignorance really is bliss and if you can get through the day without seeing what everyone else is up to it can make your own position seem just a little better.
3. Read the news, a book or learn a language. University, or school, may be over but that’s no reason to stop educating yourself. I have found all of these things very useful in improving my self-esteem and confidence. Plus, there is a practical benefit. The more you know about the world the more confident you can feel in applications and interviews. You also never know what you might stumble across and what ideas could be planted in your own head.
4. (Re)Take up a hobby. Applying for jobs is important but it isn’t everything. Find something else to live for – a purpose to wake up every morning. Having an activity to do daily will not only make you feel like you have at least some semblance of a life but it will improve your self-confidence and make you ready to tackle the world of job hunting. Again, there is a practical benefit as employers like candidates to be able to demonstrate a range of interests and talents (apparently, having never employed anyone or been employed I wouldn’t really know what they want).
5. Do whatever it takes. Within reason, obviously. But what I mean is analyse your strengths and weaknesses and try to figure out what might be holding you back from the success you crave. For instance, a lot of applications require an initial telephone interview where they ask you such daft questions as ‘describe a time you overcame a setback’ (I never know what to say, and always feel like apologising for never having done anything as brave as rebuilding my house after a hurricane) and I soon found out I was, quite frankly, shit at them. Therefore I looked for ways in which I could improve. One of the most helpful I found was being told to imagine you are someone more confident than yourself and to conduct the telephone interview as if you were that person. Obviously, there are limits to this approach but it did make a difference for me.
6. Do different. This final piece of advice has two parts. The first part is that if you are making many applications and not having any success then do different. You are obviously not coming across well enough and carrying on with the same policy would be folly. Change up your application, write a new cover letter, ring people directly even if they aren’t advertising. Change your strategy in the hope of more success. Secondly, be different from everyone else. Do something unexpected or whacky in the hope you will stand out. Anyone can write a polite and mundane cover letter so what’s the point? Use your imagination and I am sure good things will be waiting around the corner.
For the last few days (weeks?) I have been stupefied but I refuse to let it carry on any longer. This is what I have learnt but, of course, sometimes the hardest thing is following your own advice…